I wake up on Sunday morning not knowing the dangers that await me. I lazily roll myself over and look at my alarm clock. 7:51. School starts at 8:15! I jump out of bed and quickly speed through my morning routine.I throw my gear in my bag and dash across the block.

On my way, I see two small squirrels run across the other side of the street, as if racing me. Suddenly, their teeth turn into fangs, paws into razor claws, and legs into spider legs. They run at me and jump. I turn the block and run. When I thought I had lost them, I saw them in the sky, charging at me. I didn’t realize they could fly. I knew I was dead as they inched ever so close…

Comments:

hi Thomas!
Good job on your 100wc! I liked the way you laid out the story line. It was easy to understand you were war refuges. I also liked the expression of that third line, ‘hoping that someone or something’ that expression with the font really adds to the tense feeling.
The only think to work on was a few grammar mistakes I noticed.
Beside that Good job!

Hi Hanna!
Good job on your 100wc!
I liked the way you slowly built up your story plot up to the problem. I also liked liked the way you built up the problem. I like it when authors slowly make the problem greater and greater over time. I don’t really think you could improve on this. It’s really good.

Good 100wc Cleo!
I liked the way you quickly, but steadily, grew up the story until the problem. I also liked the way you set down the start of the earthquake and described it. Only thing to improve on was a few punctuation mistakes I saw.
Beside that,good job!

Since you guys might have trouble finding something to comment on, do this.

The green grass leapt beside me. The clouds wafted in the sky. The willow tree danced in the wind. It was a nice walk in the park. But then, out of nowhere, a glass case closed around me and I became trapped. Then the glass teleported me to a strange otherworldly terrain, where I knelt before two aliens. A red alien and an orange alien. I immediately stood up and tried to run to, what I thought, was the exit; but was pushed back down onto my knees by a mysterious force. Both aliens opened their mouth to talk, but the orange one spoke first.

The starate moves swiftly and silently through the lonely streets of Jacksonville. It’s primary objective, the Gordon uranium mines. When all of a sudden, the starate turns to stone. The worker sitting on the bench notices the tall, thin object and freezes. The starate, clever creature that it is is using it’s number one defensive strategy, turning to stone as soon as it is looked at. The worker blinks and the starate uses this as it’s golden moment to move on. But right as it is about to reach the mine, it realizes it has walked into a trap. Another starate stands in front of it, eternally locking the two in place…

“So it’s a deal.” The two men shook hands and commenced the delivery of 18 gold ingots. There was then suddenly a flash of light and the men turned to stone. Nobody knew why. Nobody wanted to know why. The gold arrived but nobody touched it. Was it cursed?

The ingots sat in the small wooden crate until an archaeologist named John picked them up. He saw nothing wrong. He took the gold to the museum and they put it in a dusty display case. 2 days later john met the same fate and turned to stone. Even to this day, nobody ever visits the men made of stone or the gold now, and nobody ever will.

It was a sunny day, but I couldn’t find anything to do on the Saturday. I was lying on the my purple couch when a thought struck me. Let’s go to the Zoo!

It was a crowded day and it took me a whole 10 minutes to find parking. I walked in and was happily greeted by and elephant who squirted water all over me. I walked around and saw a few more cages, the zebras were grooming there hair and the lions were munching on bones like dogs.

I got bored and decided to go to the aquarium. They fed the seahorses avocado, it was odd but I decided to roll with it. After the aquarium, I drived home and collapsed in my bed after a busy day and fell asleep.

facts:

The supermarket collectibles are turning people crazy.

The Supermarket collectible toys are causing some arguments about the plastic pollution.

One of the collectibles was found on a beach in bail meaning it traveled 1,730km which just shows how bad the problem is.

Questions:

If the supermarkets just cut down on plastic bags to reduce plastic, why are they making these plastic toys?

How much plastic is being used to make the toys?

Understanding:

I  understood why people are against them

Facts:

The Wangkangurru people dug little water wells called Mikiri to depths up to 7m.

The Simpson desert is described by Mr Rowlands as:

Coming over the rise today, it was like in the Sahara seeing palm trees. That’s how magical it was for me. This is a pretty special place.

Lots of Wangkangurru people were massacred by the Europeans (meanies) at the edge of the Simpson desert.

Main ideas:

Mike Smith is leading a camel train into the desert to remake the crossing by Burkin wills in 1860.

They have made some interesting discoveries like an old kitchen, a dead skeleton and some interesting traces of the Wangkangurru people.

Summary:

The simpson dessert is a fascinating place with remains from the previous owners and some weird natural occurrences that are still being discovered.

I knew it wasn’t a good idea to leave this late at night but I was in serious trouble. I opened the window and jumped out into our small, shady neighborhood. I hurried down the eerie black street to the meeting place. I arrived panting on the dark alley in front of Victors face.

“We had a deal Eris, you would work for me, and I wouldn’t post this video of your baby self drinking, illegally, underage.”

It was true, he shouldn’t have broken the law but there nothing he could do now.

“No” I said firmly

“Okay then, good answer!” Victor yelled. He took out a dagger and stabbed me in the neck.  As I turned my head, the world spun and everything went black.

Destination Moon

Come down to MPPS (Monnee ponds primary school) on the 14^th of August to see our amazing presentation about the moon to celebrate the 50^th anniversary of the heroic moon landing.

The presentation will take you back to October 27^th, 1961, as we educate you throughout the entire Apollo program. And how NASA managed to land Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin on the moon in 1969.

MPPS will also inform you about some questions orbiting the moon (pun implied) ;like its origin, why it glows silver and more!

Come down on the Wednesday and you will be able see the event for yourself!